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No public IJR answers mention Funeral yet. As people ask about it and share their answers, they'll appear here.
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“In the city a funeral is just an interruption of traffic; in the country it is a form of entertainment.”
“She was a soprano of the kind often used for augmenting grief at a funeral.”
“F UNERAL , n. A pageant whereby we attest our respect for the dead by enriching the undertaker, and strengthen our grief by an expenditure that deepens our groans and doubles our tears.”
“When selecting music for a service meant to proclaim the hope of eternal life, why include a song that denies the very concept of eternal life in its opening words? …As Christians, our funerals shouldn’t be celebrations of our accomplishments, hobbies, or interests because, as Christians, we aren’t primarily statesmen or sports fans or Parrotheads with a little bit of Jesus dust sprinkled on top.”
“Shylock: I would my daughter were dead at my foot, and the jewels in her ear! would she were hearsed at my foot, and the ducats in her coffin!”
Quotes via Wikiquote (CC BY-SA), each with its original source.