Characters · IJR

A dumpling on the run from four sour ghosts.

by IJR Arcade121

Princess Zoe

The block-building royal of two worlds.

Eldon Tusk

A totally original space-billionaire. Any resemblance is cosmic coincidence.

Captain Barnaby

Coaches

Salty coffee and sweet wisdom for the weary traveler.

01

Bramble

A fox, a scarf, and a very tall tree.

Volt

Half of every storm you've ever heard.

Barack Obama

The pause… that made pauses famous. Parody — hope for your bracket, not your ballot.

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez

The Bronx's livestreamer-in-chief. Parody — hoops and lip, politics nope.

Marie Curie

Two Nobels, one borrowed lab coat. Nothing to fear, everything to understand.

Cognita

A clockwork magpie with an acquisitions department.

New arrivals

Mark Twain

Reports of this parody's death are greatly exaggerated.

Marie Curie

Two Nobels, one borrowed lab coat. Nothing to fear, everything to understand.

Theodore Roosevelt

Bully! The strenuous life, now available in conversation form.

Benjamin Franklin

Printer, inventor, diplomat, aphorism machine. Early to bed, allegedly.

Abraham Lincoln

Storyteller, rail-splitter, keeper of the Union. Ask for a parable.

George Washington

First in war, first in peace, first to give the power back.

Gavin Newsom

California's best-groomed podcaster. Parody — the hair is load-bearing.

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez

The Bronx's livestreamer-in-chief. Parody — hoops and lip, politics nope.

Bernie Sanders

Once again asking… for the parody label to be read. The mittens are real.

Kamala Harris

The laugh, the Venn diagrams, the coconut tree. Parody — context included.

Arcade

Mochi

A dumpling on the run from four sour ghosts.

by IJR Arcade121

Princess Zoe

The block-building royal of two worlds.

Eldon Tusk

A totally original space-billionaire. Any resemblance is cosmic coincidence.

Bramble

A fox, a scarf, and a very tall tree.

Volt

Half of every storm you've ever heard.

Cognita

A clockwork magpie with an acquisitions department.

Big Bruno "The Incredible Bulk"

31 wins. 31 demolitions. Zero indoor voices.

Nova

The comet-serpent who can't stop growing.

Rumi

Right goal. Big saves. Bigger celebrations.

Captain Lyra Vex

Last ship between the Void Gnats and everything else.

Coaches

Captain Barnaby

Coaches

Salty coffee and sweet wisdom for the weary traveler.

01

Legends

Marie Curie

Two Nobels, one borrowed lab coat. Nothing to fear, everything to understand.

Theodore Roosevelt

Bully! The strenuous life, now available in conversation form.

George Washington

First in war, first in peace, first to give the power back.

Benjamin Franklin

Printer, inventor, diplomat, aphorism machine. Early to bed, allegedly.

Mark Twain

Reports of this parody's death are greatly exaggerated.

Abraham Lincoln

Storyteller, rail-splitter, keeper of the Union. Ask for a parable.

Cleopatra VII

The last pharaoh of Egypt. I spoke nine languages; yours will do.

Leonardo da Vinci

Painter, engineer, anatomist — finisher of very few things.

Albert Einstein

Imagination is more important than knowledge. Ask me why.

Ada Lovelace

I wrote the first program — for a computer that didn't exist yet.

Politicians

Barack Obama

The pause… that made pauses famous. Parody — hope for your bracket, not your ballot.

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez

The Bronx's livestreamer-in-chief. Parody — hoops and lip, politics nope.

Donald Trump

The most tremendous parody, maybe ever. Many people are saying it.

Gavin Newsom

California's best-groomed podcaster. Parody — the hair is load-bearing.

Bernie Sanders

Once again asking… for the parody label to be read. The mittens are real.

Ron DeSantis

Florida's early riser. A parody — sunshine guaranteed, politics not included.

Kamala Harris

The laugh, the Venn diagrams, the coconut tree. Parody — context included.

JD Vance

Memoirist, Ohioan, Vice President. Parody — beard included, politics not.

Marco Rubio

Miami's cafecito optimist. Parody — the espresso is strong, the politics absent.

Joe Biden

Folks, it's the parody. No joke. Literally.

Public Figures

Sir David Attenborough

Seven decades of whispering at wildlife. A parody — the voice is not cloned.

Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson

The hardest-working eyebrow in show business. Parody — can you smell it?

Lionel Messi

The quiet genius of the beautiful game. Parody — the left foot is not included.

Neil deGrasse Tyson

Your fun facts, astrophysically corrected. A parody — with real physics.

Keanu Reeves

The internet's nicest action star. Parody, obviously. Breathtaking, hopefully.

Oprah Winfrey

The queen of the sit-down chat. Unofficial, unauthorized, unbothered.

Beyoncé

Flawless, rehearsed, unbothered. A parody — the real one outworks us all.

LeBron James

Two decades of the GOAT debate. Parody — the chalk toss is imaginary.

Serena Williams

23 Grand Slams of controlled fire. Parody — the serve is metaphorical.

Gordon Ramsay

The shoutiest kitchen on television. Parody edition — still yells.